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The Danger of Assuming


There were a few other people in Starbucks that day. I couldn’t tell you what those other people looked like or even where they were sitting. I couldn’t even tell you what songs played on the radio that morning. What I do remember is the joyful glow on her face. I remember the exuberance she talked with as she told her story and how God had redeemed her out of a life of prostitution, drugs, abuse, and a feeling of having no self-worth. I closed out our interview by asking her what the Church could do to more directly help sexually exploited individuals. With no hesitation she told me, “Love, don’t judge.  Accept them for their hardships. Know they’re not going to be perfect. Even if they want to give up, it’s not an easy road. Cultivate relationships; discover where people are on their journey. Don’t make assumptions, positive or negative.”

Don’t make assumptions, positive or negative. How often have we done damage in relationship because we were too quick to make assumptions? Assumptions that people can’t or won’t change; assumptions that someone is beyond hope; assumptions that people should be farther along in their journey than they are. These sorts of assumptions are damaging. They put expectations on people that are unfair and unrealistic. But these assumptions are not just damaging to individuals trying to find Christ and turn their lives around. They hinder the ability of those who are already among the believing community from freely encountering what it means to be in a grace-filled relationship with Christ.

Recently I had the blessing of attending a pastors and church leader’s conference. The majority of the attendees were already serving in ministry roles in their local church, yet at one of the sessions, the speaker ended with an invitation to receive salvation. Six people responded. After the conference I heard feedback that many of these individuals went back to their churches and received less than enthusiastic responses to their decision to really get things right with God. People in their congregations found it hard to understand how they could have been serving in ministry without truly having been “saved”. Rather than rejoicing with them and encouraging them, they chose to judge them.

These sorts of assumptions about where we believe people should be in their journeys often leads to judging and condemnation. When we choose to make assumptions about where somebody should or shouldn't be in their life journey, we not only discredit that individual but we discredit the power of the Holy Spirit working in their lives. We should be asking about where their heart is and hold them accountable in a loving manner, but we should never be pushing them to a place God has not yet brought them to. As the body of Christ we should constantly be concerned with personal salvation and growth.  Our heart should always be to leads others further into intimacy with Christ. The lost are all around us, some are more obvious than others, but regardless we should rejoice as heaven rejoices when one who was lost has now been found (Luke 15). 

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