Just because...

The only reformation Martin Luther initially sought to pursue was the reformation of his own spiritual walk. In engaging the Scriptures, he discovered that human endeavours at righteous living were not sufficient for salvation, but rather it was God's grace that pursued and saved individuals. The Christian life, he discovered, was not one of behavioral modification but rather one of personal freedom to live in the perfect will of God and communion with the holy Trinity. Luther's personal revelations stir him to share this amazing news with the rest of the fellowship of believers which spurred a nationwide reformation of the theology of the church. But before God reveals this Truth to Luther, he was plagued which a need to act holy in order to earn God's forgiveness and salvation. At one point, he felt that exhaustive confession of ALL sins committed would do the trick, but he found on leaving the confession booth that he had forgotten certain sins and this in turn would create a state of anxiety and desperation. He soon came to realize that sin was more than actions and thoughts; it was a condition and a condition that he was incapable of curing. On the advice of his mentor, he began to study the mystics of the Middle Ages. His reading of the mystics taught Him that right living followed from the love of God. For Luther this was difficult to do for He viewed God much like his parents and teachers growing up had been; brutal, strict tyrants who often beat him for misbehavior to the point of drawing blood. In order to love God, Luther had to discover what kind of a Being God was. A proper, wholistic perspective of God and a proper, wholistic love of God are at the heart of a right relationship with not only God, but in turn with one's self and one's fellow man.

At my small group, my group leader was sharing her story. She had been raised in the church, became a Christian at a young age, attended a Christian college, and even seminary. Despite all these outward advantages she wrestled with depression, drinking, and empty religion. She did the right things but she didn't "feel" like a Christian which lead to depression drowned in alcohol which furthered the cycle of dead religion and cripling guilt. As she came to the turning point in her story she made a statement that shocked me at first, "God let me clean up before I came to Him." I wasn't sure how to interpret this statement and I almost wanted to argue it with her, but she went on, "He let me clean up my behavior so I was coming to Him purely for Him; not so He could change how I was living, but because I truly wanted Him for Him not for what was in it for me."

So simple, yet so profound. God uses many avenues to bring us to Him, but our relationship with Him is fullest when we want nothing else but to be in His presence. He's not just our Saviour and Redeemer, though ultimately that's what we need; He's our Father, our Lover, our Friend. He's our desire, our satisfaction, our desperation. He's not simply what we need, He's what we need. We can clean up, fix up, and dress up but it won't save us. "Not by works of righteous but according to His mercy He saved us." In the end, all our righteous works are filthy rags. In the end, God doesn't just want to change our behavior, he wants to change our persepctive, our attitudes, our motivations, our lives. In the end, God just wants to love us and in turn this love should change us. May God be all we want, in addition to all we need.