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Fighting for a world on my knees

A few years back, after committing to my call to seminary and ministry, I had a breakdown. A close friend was on a rocky spiritual path, straddling the fence between God and the world and about ready to fall off on the side of world. I had had countless conversations trying to convince her of the potential God had for her life and everything she would be throwing away by walking away from God's call on her life. She was not the only one of my friends I had had these sorts of conversations with, and time has convinced me she won't be the last. I remember breaking down in my dad's office at church and telling him, "I'm so tired. I'm not making any difference in her life and I'm sick and tired of beating her over the head with the truth when she doesn't care." He somberly looked at me and with pain in his voice told me, "Welcome to ministry."

Have you been there? You're exercising everything in your power-- prayer, lectures, pleading, bible-thumping-- and you can't "save" those closest to you. Have you ever asked God, "Why do I bother to proclaim You if no one-- not even my closest friends and family-- are going to listen?"

These are the thoughts that plague me quite frequently. They nag at my soul and make me question everything God is calling me to, whether in my personal walk with God or the ministry He's confirmed to me time and time again. In the midst of my most frequent struggle with this, God brought the lyrics of a song to my mind; a song that in the past has comforted me in just such a crisis of faith.

The song is simply called "I Am" by Ginny Owens. In her song, she traces the doubts and faith struggles of Moses, Samuel, and Mary the mother of Jesus. The reply of God in each of their questioning and doubting is this: "There's a bigger picture you can't see, you don't have to change the world just trust in Me, I Am your Creator, I Am working out my plan, and through you I will show them, I AM."

How incredible is that? We don't carry the world's burdens on our shoulders. Christ already bore them on the cross. All we have to do is be willing vessels to carry out His will. But this still doesn't completely bring peace to my mind when it comes to winning those closest to me. A conversation about this very thing enlightened me to a crucial fact: the people you influence because of your witness and testimony for Christ may be the very people God uses to rescue your closest friends and family. "You reap what you sow". God blesses those who do His will. And even the most desperately lost cause is a miracle in God's eyes.

Let me leave you with one last example that will hopefully give you some hope if you're struggling with the same thing I am. For years I prayed for my aunt who had left my uncle and her children and gotten her life completely messed up. She had walked away from not only her family, but from God as well. She chased what she thought she wanted and what she thought would make her happy, only to end up miserable and emotionally and spiritually alone. I recently reconnected with her. Although still living with the regrets of years of poor decisions and blatant sin, she had come back to God and knew she was once again His child. She is now living with the hope that God is slowly, but faithfully healing her spirits and her relationships.

After several years of praying for her, I gave up hope. When I started talking to her again I realized something: "There are no lost causes to God". We need to stop allowing discouragement to make us believe that there are some people who are perpetually lost. We need to start fighting for this world and our loved ones on our knees. The battle may be fierce, but our God is fiercer.

Remember, "you don't have to change the world, just trust in ME".

(If you're interested in hearing Ginny Owens song, click on the link! :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrEIM8gWxTo )

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